-7:11 PM

Torn by Letoya Lukette

A part of me wants to leave you alone.
A part of me wants for you to come home.
A part of me says I'm living a lie.
(And I'm better off without you.)
A part of me says to think it through.
A part of me says I'm over you.
A part of me wants to say goodbye.
A part of me is asking why...

A part of me wants to leave.
But a part of me wants to be here with you.
And everytime I think we're over
And done you do something to get me back loving you.
And you got me just torn.

Torn in between the two. (Oh yeah)
Cuz I really wanna be with you.
But something's telling me I should leave you alone.
(I really want to be with you)
Leave you alone.
Leave you alone.
And you got me just torn in between the two. (In between the two)
Cuz I really wanna be with you. (Be with you)
But something's telling me I should leave you alone. (You alone)
Leave you alone.
Leave you alone.

There were no issues when we started out.
It was cool.
It was everything that love's about.
But something happened.
Plus I'm feeling so burnt out.
(Cuz I can't understand you now.)
Now oh (I just can't understand you now.)
A part of me says it's all my fault.
A part of me says "he ain't what you want."
A part of me says to get my bags.
A part of me says I can't do that.

So many times I (I was ready to go)
So many times I (Had my foot out the door)
So many times I (I thought to give him a chance, thought he'd be a better man)
Now I'm sitting here and I'm so confused.
Cuz I keep fighting myself for you.
(I don't know how much more I can take but I can't feel this way)
(You got me so torn)

And you got me just torn in between the two.
Cuz I really wanna be with you.
But something's telling me I should leave you alone.
Leave you alone.
Leave you alone.

My recommedation for the month of June.
I think this song is really nice.
esp after a heartbreak! o=)

anyways really dissapointed with someone.
your not the person i know anymore.
i dont see the point talking or helping you.
i wonder why i forgave u in the first place?

going off in an hour or so.
until now my bag is not with me.
NO BAG ARG!!
haven taken a bath too!
my sunburn hurts too!
of all person i will get a SUNBURN!!

anyways yanting is not white anymore.
*smile smile*i think.

I MISS MY BAOBEIS'

DIANNE,JIA JING,JIA YI
YVETTE,RICKIE,CHERYL and JULIA!

wonder when can i see them again.


-1:47 AM

So before you point your finger
Get your hands off of my trigger
You need to know this situation's getting old
And now the more you talk
The less I can take

So, before you start defendin'
Baby, stop all your pretendin'
I know you know I know
So what's the point in being slow
Let's get the show on the road today

THATS FOR YOU!
the person with the most emptiest talk
ON THIS WHOLE WIDE WORLD!BAH!

lemme get back to my happy dash cheerful mood.
didnt wake up until 2pm =)
lazed around until 630pm
and off to the swimming pool.
as usual butterfly sucked!

after that had speghetti for dinner.
yum yum =) just a little sour.
then watched tv for a while and went out to cine.

went there for deserts.
bought a pearl bracelet and some earings.
kinda cute.
bwhahaha pleased with what i bought
had chocolate fondue.
then went to send the minis home and went home

was flipping thru some mags
until mr zebra came and we started chatting.
he told me some things.
kinda upset la. =(
was like crying away.
but anyways okay now =) *taDAH*

am·bi·gu·i·ty
n. pl. am·bi·gu·i·ties
1.Doubtfulness or uncertainty as regards interpretation: “leading a life of alleged moral ambiguity” (Anatole Broyard).
2.Something of doubtful meaning: a poem full of ambiguities.

anyways its JOSEPHINE'S BDAY!
HAPPY BDAY MY LITTLE MINI!



-9:46 PM

19.08.05
i'm not someone to let you play around.
my feelings for you were all true.
yet to you, it was all a game.
how can you do this?

really flying to the sky.
didnt know i will do better than i expected.
yet my achievement mean nothing
compared to his!
really feel that he is purposly avoiding things
which he should face!
why must he give such excuses?what does he have to hide?

anyways, i hate empty talks.
BAH! they suck

anyways xueer is asking me to update about her.
and this is what i wanna say to HER!
stop showing me what you are talking to him,
i'm on the verge of breaking down.

the feeling being able to skate on ice.
is really refreshing!
however, not having someone beside me
to hold me and guide me is scary.
i dont know when i will fall.
how i wish someone was there to hold me.

aiya.what the hell am i saying?!
anyways, josephine's bday party was a blast!
had so much fun on the ice.
especially seeing my precious elmo fall.
WHY?
cause i went to fast,and as we were about to turn
SHE FELL!
ahahhahaa....how to describe the wet patch?
ask her yourself.
after that went to take neoprints.
damn fun =)

will be posting it up later.
going to cruise just brings me back.
however, i dont wanna go.
as i really wanna let things go.

however, is this possible?

24.09.05


-10:52 PM

To my Dearest Tiffany =)

really sorry that i cant pass you qiang wei zhi lian so fast.
as i cant get a hold of that vcd.
will get it back asap
but i think
that i will get it back after the holidays.
really sorry k dars?
hope you have fun on your trip!
MISS YOU LOADS! x)
remember to buy smth for me kaes?

Loving you always =)


-10:37 PM

This is a poem about 4 best friends,
Who promised to be together til the end.
Tonya, Liz, Erika and Shay,
Always had their way.

They didn't care who they`d hurt,
If you didnt fit in, they`d treat you like dirt.
They were the most popular girls in school,
All the girls wanted to fit in, they thought they were cool
One Saturday night they went to a club and had their fun,
They got into a couple of fights and of course they won.
After the club they went their seperate ways,
They promised to hang out again the next day.

Shay got a ride from a guy she met,
What she didnt know was that he had made a bet.
They went back to his place and smoked some weed,
They were high as hell, indeed.
He took advantage of the fact that Shay was high,
They had sex and then said good-bye.
Shay went home not realizing the mistake she had done,
Of course all she wanted was to have fun.

Now we turn to Erika she`s walking alone,
Some guys pull her over and ask if she wants a ride home.
She said yes not caring who they were,
They guys grinned thinking "What a stupid little girl.
"They drive around and end up at their place,
She asks "Where are we?" with a worried look on her face.
"Dont worry we`re gonna have fun" they replied,
She said "okay" and thought in them she could confide.
A couple of hours later, Erika was drunk as hell,
The guys could really tell.
One took her upstairs and had sex with her,
He came back downstairs and said "she`s waiting up there".
So the next guy goes until they all had their turn,
P*or Erika she was drunk and thought it was fun.
At the end of the night she slept with 10 guys,
She didnt know what to say, so she said good-bye.

Now lets look at Liz,
She`s a wonderful girl, she really is.
But that night something changed her life,
She now has to find a way to survive.
She was pressured to be in a gang,
She thought it was cool how they talked in slang.
She saw all the boys carrying a gun,
She thought it`d be cool to own one.
They said she could own one if she became a member,
She agreed, not realizing this would be a night to remember.

Tonya went home but was five minutes late,
Little did she know her father was awake.
She walked in the door and saw her father`s face filled with anger,
She then knew she was in danger.
Her father started to hit her not letting her say a word,
She felt like this was the end of her world.
Ten minutes later the hitting stopped,
All she could do was sob.
She layed there and closed her eyes,
She shed one more tear and let out a deep sigh.

The next day,
They act like everything is okay.
They went back to school with so much pride,
But each one had something to hide.

A year goes by and things seem to be the same,
But all of a sudden things have changed.
Tonya went to school and her 3 best friendds were gone,
She wonders "What is going on?"
She calls Liz but instead her mother answers the phone,
Tonya asks, " Mrs. Rodriguez whats wrong?"
Mrs. Rodriguez trying to hold back her tears,
As Tonya has the phone glued to her ear.
"Mrs. Rodriguez, why are you crying?!"
"Sweety, your friend Liz is dying."

Tonya rushed to the hospital to see her friend,
This cant be happening, her life cant end.
As she arrived the doctors said it was too late,
They told her to wait outside, but she didnt want to wait.
She went to hold Liz`s hand as tears filled her eyes,
She couldnt believe it, Liz was cold as ice.
She whispered, "I Love you Liz, you`ll always be my girl"
She turned around, began to cry and walked out the door.
She asked Mrs. Rodriguez "What happened? I dont understand.",

"She was shot 3 times" she replied as she held Tonya`s hand.
The next day they dug her grave and put her down,
Every one was quiet, there was no sound.
Her gravestone says: Elizabeth Rodriguez 2/21/88-3/16/05
She was only 16, she didnt deserve to die.

A few days later ,Tonya went back to school alone,
Once again her 2 best friends were gone.
She walked down the hallways trying to look okay,
But as soon as school was over, she went to see Shay.
She walked up the stairs and knocked on the door,
Shay`s brother answered and said "She doesnt live here anymore."
Tonya asked "Where is she? Where did she go?",
The brother replied "She got pregnant and left, but thats all I know."
Tonya said "okay" and walked away in shock,
She walked for 15 minutes until she reached Erika`s block.

She saw Erika`s sister crying, what could possibly be wrong,
Tonya walked over and asked "Whats going on?"
Erika`s sister replied,"Erika had an STD and died."
Tonya didnt know what to say,
She screamed "This cant be happening, NO WAY!"
She started to cry as she ran home,
She couldnt believe it her 3 best friends were gone.
She ran to her room and slammed the door,
She knew someone followed her, she heard the footsteps on the floor.
She yelled "Leave me alone, I dont want to talk",
She stayed quiet as she heard them walk.
She played her music as she layed on her bed,
She had so many things going through her head.

Her friends were gone, she had no one left,
Was it her turn, would she be next?
She thought about death all through the night,
She even thought about comitting suicide.
She pulled out a knife from her drawer,
She could imagine her mother`s face filled with horror.
She started to write a letter as she cried

She wrote "Dear Mom" then wiped her eyes.
"Dear Mom, I really am sorry,But I`ll be in a better place, dont worry.
This life wasnt for me,
Some things just arent meant to be.
My dad abused me, but you never knew,
I should`ve told you mom, I`m sorry I didnt tell you.
I gotta go mom, my time is here,
I don't want you to cry, so please dont shed a tear.
One last favor, do you remember my favorite song?
Play it at my funeral, I Love you Mom."

She folded the letter as tears dripped from her face,
She placed the letter on the bed, the perfect place.
She picked up the knife,
Slit her wrist once, then twice.
She then slit her throat with the bloody knife,
And managed to whisper "Good-bye".
She fell on the bed next to the letter,
She thought this would make things better.

This is the end of a horrible tragedy,
Like Tonya said, some things arent meant to be.
This is a poem of 4 best friends,
Who kept their promise to be together til the end.


-9:32 PM

FREAKING UNFAIR!
that person can keep the 3 prawns to eat!
*grumble*
never mind one day i'll treat myself
without catching them!
bwhaahhaaa....

another boring day.
now chatting with MR KEITH CHAN.
damn bored. =(
he says he might be going to hong kong.
its so unfair.
i wanna go too!!


-8:28 PM

wow...so fast chapter 50 already!!
HOORAY!HOORAH!HOOBAHHHHH!!!
i'm going crazy =)

anyways thanks loads to my lao gong,, JASMINE
for waking me up this morning.
love u loads =).

wahhh
shld i spend $114 on his present?!
kinda big risk.
cause i've never spend so much on 1 present!
rather use the money and spend on myself.
but this is a once in a lifetime chance.

on a heavier note.
i'm really starting to wonder
whether the step i took last year was correct.
why did i take that step and trust him?
why did i take it so seriously when i know
i will get nothing in return?

IMAGINE ME WITHOUT YOU

As long as stars shine down from heaven
And the rivers run into the sea
Til the end of time forever
You're the only love I'll need

In my life you're all that matters
In my eyes the only truth I see
When my hopes and dreams have shattered
You're the one that's there for me

When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you, I need you

Imagine me without you
I'd be lost and so confused
I wouldn't last a day, I'd be afraid
Without you there to see me through

Imagine me without you
Lord, you know it's just impossible
Because of you, it's all brand new
My life is now worthwhile
I can't imagine me without you

When you caught me I was falling
You're love lifted me back on my feet
It was like you heard me calling
And you rush to set me free

When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you, I need you


those who look the strongest, are usually the weakest.


-11:22 PM

here i am blogging
so frigging tired..augg..

went for the heritage tour.
was really bored in the bus.
other than crapping with ewen =)
went to disturb keith.
bwhahaha.that idiot ass.
so rich still want me to buy him bday prezzie!
please la.what u want is an Adidas jacket!
frigging $114 dollars!!!
*faint*
that ass didnt reach school until recess time!
should he get an award for that?

went to Fajar Fatimah Temple first.
the building is tilted to one side.COOL=)
then went to St Andrew's Cathedral.
didnt know it was that magnificent.
the rich history behind it.
bwhahaha *smirk*
then went to the Sikh Temple near old Zhangde
quite interesting too.
overrall really had fun during the trip.
esp crappping with so many people.
Ewen,Joey,Yu Ru,Wenqi.

After that,went for lunch in the canteen
then went off to safra

HOWEVER,

lessons were canceled today
melvin forgot to tell me!
DOUBLE AUGG!!
practically wasted my time going there
and had to carry 'gold' to school.
wasted my money to take the bus there too!!
AHHHHHHHHHH!!

tomorrow gotta go school for some thingy.
how i wish i could sleep on my bed longer.

Anyways,my mom is back from macau.
she bought quite a few stuff.
however i only took the dvd.
I WANNA WATCH THEM NOW!!
its so unfair! keith is going to get a NEW PHONE?!
can he just jump down?!

TRIPLE AUGG!!!!!!!

i'm gonna get 500 bucks from my mom
or else i will not be satisfied!


-11:04 PM

soaking myself in jolin's new song "wu niang"
her album is a must buy!
but i'm waiting for it to gai ban.

anyways i'm flying to the sky!
why?
cause tomorrow i will be seeing my darlings!
YAY-NESS!
my mom is coming back from macau
and i'm soon gonna get some stuff from her.
that includes a bag.hope its not an imitation though.
the word imitation just irks me! *shiver*
she's gonna give me some of her earnings too!
YAY-NESS!! shopping spree!

cant wait to go prawn fishing too.
that person agreed to bring me again!
yay yay yay!
to those who know who i am referring to
SHHHHHHH!!

anyways i'm waiting for keith to reply.
that idiot ass.its been an hour!
wonder what the hell he is doing.
KEITH CHAN LAI HONG!! WHERE ARE YOU?!
ahem! to jody:there is nothing between me and him
PLEASE!

DANCING DIVA
WU NIANG-JOLIN TSAI


-7:59 PM

was busy brainstorming in school.
was really pleased with what my group came up with.
MARWIN and his BRIGHT IDEAS!
my group is just plain CRAZY!

i'm really dissapointed in myself.
when i needed somebody jas would be there for me
but today when jas needed somebody
i didnt do anything at all.

jas i'm really sorry that i couldnt help much.


-9:37 PM

I AM: wearing a mask
I WANT: a fairytale to happen
I WISH: things would return to where i wanted
I HATE: looking at loving couples
I MISS: being loved
I FEAR: being lost
I HEAR: my sobbing
I WONDER: who will i end up with
I REGRET: not saying what i wanted to say
I AM NOT: who you think I am.
I SING: when i want to
I CRY: at everything
I AM NOT ALWAYS: happy
I WRITE: when i have to and when i want to
I CONFUSE: myself and my friends
I NEED: love
I SHOULD: open my eyes
I START: my day by dragging myself to school
I FINISH: my day by hugging my bolster
I LOVE: him.
I REMEMBER: all those precious memories.


-9:14 PM

20 Reasons Why I Love You

I love the way you scream at me, every single night
I love the way you wonder if that was our last fight
I love the way you sleep, comfortably upon my arms
I love the way you drift, without and within my charms
I love the way you hug me, with your ear upon my heart

I love the way you kiss me, not even a centimeter apart
I love the way you seduce me, take part in all my dreams
I love the way you make love to me, it’s all I need it seems
I love the way your body swings back and forth in motion
I love the way you say “I love you” with all of your devotion

I love the way your whole body looks, back and to the front
I love the way you care for me when our emotions are too blunt
I love the way you break my heart and repair it once more
I love the way you turn to me and hope I wouldn’t ignore
I love the way you fall within my arms right before you cry

I love the way you look at me and stare at me with those eyes
I love the way you talk to me until you fall asleep
I love the way you listen to those secrets I cannot keep
I love the way you linger on about the simple things
I love the way you give me risks for what your heart might bring

That’s the end of this list, but I’m sure that’s only a few
I just can’t think straight when my mind is always on you
I loved you from the beginning, from the first night we dated
I can’t take it anymore; I loved what your love has created


this is dedicated to my special one.
love you always.


-9:19 PM

this update is dedicated to,
2 OF MY BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD

JODY & TIFFANY

but for this update.
i will use their baby picture =)



This is Jody with her cousin in Australia.



This is Tiffany with a vampire X)!
She looks like a little doll right?
Esp those big eyes of hers!

We have been pals since those 2 were little.
PROOF?


This picture is taken on my brother's 2nd birthday.
I am clearly the one sitting on the chair.
Jody is the small little one beside me.
Not the one in blue!Thats my brother!


Thats us in Hong Kong.
Tiffany went there too!
However she was sick and went back to Singapore.
I look totally wrong in that picture!


Jody and i *AGAIN* in a farm in Australia!
the one beside me is my sister.
the person beside her is my cousin.


thats us!taken just few days back!

yea yea i dont have any pics of tiffany.
but then we really hardly take any pics together.
JODY & TIFFANY have loads of pics together.
so envious.

anyways since u've seen their baby pictures,
to be fair..

THERE!


-12:49 AM

this long holiday rawks
finally found some time so spend with jody and tiffany
but instead left jasmine fong alone
sorry girl!
but then u had a really fun time without me
right?*winks*

went out with jody on wednesday
to watch aquamarine!
was really nice.
really brought back the true meaning of
FRIENDSHIP!
how i wished tiffany was there.
at least 3 of us would be laughing our asses off X)
but it was really damn funny.
tears were about to roll down my cheeks
crying because its funny!not because i'm sad la!
BOHDOH!

after that walked all around to find jody's notebook.
in the end what happened?
she didnt find anything she liked!
sent her home then i went home.

got back my chinese paper!
I PASSED!
was like flying to the sky.
but then saw ewen's face
felt guilty.
caused i said i will fail with her.

on friday i slept till 12pm!
then around 2pm jody and tiffany came over.
wanted to watch a movie together.
but couldnt find anything nice to watch.
went from ps all the way to cine.
count my lucky stars.
didnt see him at ps! PHEW!

went to take some neoprints!
will post them up later.
after that we ate applelicious.
anyways we also wanted to buy some gifts for our mom
in the end what happened?
we didnt buy anything
and jody hong bought a top for HERSELF!
she should get a prize for that!
but that top was really nice!
after that tiffany's mom picked us up and
sent us back to their house.

went through tiffany's baby pics!
SHE'S LIKE A LIL DOLL!SO CUTE
she also had loads and loads of pics with jody!
i'm so jealous!
stayed at the place until 1030
then went to jody's house.
my dad came and picked me up around 1am!

woke up around 12pm today!
then i left for malaysia.
had to visit my relatives!
was shocked to find out that one of my cousin
was already 8 years old!
BAH!i'm getting old!
my youngest cousin is 11mths.
she's a little girl but looks like a boy though xP
dont really like her as she is my 2nd uncle's daughter.
totally detest my 2nd uncle!BAH BAH BAH!!!!!!

then the 2nd youngest is 2 years old!
NAME?JACKSEN!
his pic will be posted up later.
stayed in malaysia for 2 hours
then drove home as we had swimming lessons!
bweeeee =)

swimming was fun
but my butterfly needs to be improved,LOADS!!
got to know what josephine canceled her bday party.
sad! was really looking forward for it!
after having dinner at home
went to cine for desert!
YUMMMY YUMMY RUB MAH TUMMY!

getting really fat!!ARG!
my sister got a tamagochi!
but she has to share it with MWAH!
so its practically mine!
bought a nike bag.
really nice =)
jody has the same one too!!
then i went home =)

THE END

anyways gotta do a picture update tomorrow.
if i have time of course!
gotta find some of the pics!
now i am being suan-ed by keith!
tiffany's brother.
how i wish i got a spell to shut his mouth up.
or at least
HAVE A SPELL WHICH WILL STOP HIS BODY FROM MOVING!

so look out for it yeah?


-7:48 PM

Their 'last' meeting at the beach

While singing "Summer Nights"


Danny meeting the coach to try out for the school team

At the School Prom

SO RETRO =)

While singing "Grease Lightning"

The Happy Ending

This movie is a MUST WATCH
How i wish i can catch it now

I wonder if anybody knows
what i'm blogging about.
HMMM ..

-7:38 PM

i officially declare
YANTING IS DEAD!

why?

most people will know..

MATHS PAPER KILLED ME!

i was still QUITE satisfied about my history paper.
however, not too much hope as
i'm really weak in source based questions

skipped recess so that
i can go through some maths questions

what happened in the end?

tha maths paper was frigging difficult.
paper 1 i was already struggling.

then before paper 2
Mr Sim said that,if we have done the homework
he and Mr Lee gave us.
It would be okay.

However, after looking at the first question
i can just close the paper and fall sleep!

after doing all the questions,
i was there counting the approx. marks i will get
not even 20marks!!

i can just jump down!

however thinking about myself.
i thought of jasmine.

she put in so much effort to pass maths.
SHE SLEPT AT 5AM
then i thought
there are people who gave up everything
just for this maths paper.
yet they still got killed!
why must the teachers do this to us?

stayed back until 145.
then i left the school.
went home,ate my lunch
and fell asleep until 6pm.

sleeping is the best thing!
at least i wont think about that stupid paper!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!


i repeat!
YANTING IS DEAD!

she dont know who to trust
she dont know who to lean on.
she dont know where to go
she dont know where to hide
she dont know what to do
she dont know why she's here


all these stress have killed me!

anybody wanna see my death cert?


-7:00 PM

i'm gonna die tomorrow.

History Paper
Maths Paper 1 & 2

i know i'll be dead afterwards.
my 'touch' for both subjects are gone!

anyways

MARWIN!!I WISH U GOOD LUCK TOO!!


-9:28 PM

i'm flying to the sky!!
why?
cause after so long
i finally have a chance to talk to dar-dar!

i was chatting to jody half way in msn.
and he logged on!
i didnt even say hi to him,and this pop out!

him:hey thanks for the present
*i was still shock*
him:very nice
me:you got it?
him:yea
me:glad you liked it =)

just like that i can fly to the sky!
how hopeless can i be?!

thats the evidence to prove what jasmine said.
yups. that point!
I'M HOPELESS.


he is my ticket to happiness


-4:56 PM































since she has dedicated one entry for me.
and i've found this fantastic picture.

i've decided to dedicate one to her!

• always helping me to print/scan stuff
• always helping me to download songs
• wanted by LOADS of guys
• attached to her MISTER
• always styling her hair
• my study pal
• VERY TALL!
• blur-blur
• sweet
• silly

bottom line is that

I LOVE YA!! MUACKS!!

Yanting Whytea
1991
semi-legal seventeen
zhangde,outram,NYP
Rafflesian
two-4ster,4-sixer,AF0804
student council
GOLD NIKE SHOES
this <3 belongs to J_____


email: stitchalicious-@hotmail.com
friendster: WHYTEA




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